Why love makes you vulnerable (and why that’s ok!)

The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster, for me, for my family and for many of my clients. When I speak to people, the theme that keeps coming up over and over again is ‘feeling vulnerable’. We may call it being afraid, feeling weak or feeling powerless.

 Vulnerability is something we don’t like to feel, we’re uncomfortable with it. We try to avoid it by putting on a mask, telling people that we’re fine, not allowing ourselves to be enthusiastic about things that we really are excited about and detaching- basically putting on armour to try and protect ourselves and our feelings. Can you relate?

I’m getting married in 4 weeks and a little while ago, I had a nightmare that Colm had died. It really shook me. It was just a dream but I woke up sobbing and in a lot of pain. I got scared. The pain of loss, the fear that this could happen someday, the heartbreak all felt real. It really threw me for days.

Combine that with the fact that my 8 week old baby cousin was taken into hospital and it was a touch and go situation for a few days, not knowing if she would survive. My sister was also taken into A & E. Following my heart and running my own business and the ups and downs that go with that! Situations and life events that make you feel shit. That make you feel scared and make you want to hide and not face the world. That make you feel powerless and vulnerable.

I ponder things a lot, (especially when I’m feeling lousy) and what I realised was the following:

  •  Colm- I love him
  • My little cuz- I love her
  • My sister- I love her
  • My business- I love what I do

If I didn’t care for these people, I wouldn’t have felt bad. If I didn’t feel connected to them, it wouldn’t have bothered me. But I love them, I care about them and I feel connected to them. If I didn’t give a crap about my work, I wouldn’t feel vulnerable but I adore what I do and I’m passionate about it. Love is the common denominator.

Loving other people, pursuing careers that you’re passionate about, following your dreams and trusting your heart takes a hell of a lot of courage because we know that it could possibly cause us heartache, disappointment and pain. Love opens us up to vulnerability.

 But what if you want to avoid the heartache, the disappointment and pain?

It would mean that you would have to detach. That you would have to put on armour to protect ourselves. It would mean that people wouldn’t really get to know the ‘real you’ because you would be hiding under a mask or a duvet! It would mean that you wouldn’t have those strong connections with people. It would mean that your dreams and your hearts desires would be abandoned.

 The bravest people I know are also the people who are the most vulnerable. They are the ones speaking their truth, following their dreams and living and loving with their whole hearts. We admire these people. We look at people who put themselves out there, who are open about who they are and what’s important to them and we respect them.

 But we are slow to follow in their footsteps because we don’t want to feel vulnerable!

 To allow ourselves to be vulnerable takes a lot of courage, it means that we have to be real. It means that we have to be open and love and express ourselves. It means we have to connect with people. Love makes us vulnerable, whether that’s loving our partners, our families, our children or our work but you know what, even understanding that love and vulnerability go hand in hand, I’d still choose love anyday. How about you?

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! I’d love to hear your thoughts on love and vulnerability so drop me a line and let me know!

Also, I was just wondering how you are follow your heart this year? What do you need courage for?

What if you had 24/7 access to an online community of support? What if you were held accountable to achieving your goals and going after your dreams in 2014? What if you learnt how to look after yourself properly? What if you learned how to follow through on your decisions? What if you learnt to be more loving towards yourself? The Quarter Life Club can give you all this plus more for less than €10 per month! Click here to find out more! http://myquarterlifecoach.com/working-with-paula/the-quarter-life-club/

Until next time,

Allow yourself to be vulnerable!

P x