I hope you’re having a fantastic week so far! I’m a bit pumped today as I’m sitting out in 25 degree sunshine listening to waves while Sarah is napping! We made a last minute trip to sunshine and I’m really loving the fact that I have the freedom to do this! This was a pipe dream many moons ago! My vision board for 2017 is starting to look more real every day!
I’m in a good phase of life at the moment, I feel like I’m making progress and am feeling really good about things BUT I am aware that this is a phase of the cycle that we tend to go through in life. I came across it a number of years ago and as soon as I saw it in my own life, I saw it everywhere with clients as well!
I wanted to share this with you today because it’s such a useful tool to have to hand. It also helps us be kinder to ourselves as well! I don’t know about you but when I know WHY something is happening or WHY I’m feeling the way I’m feeling- it makes it much easier to navigate through!
It appears that we go through cycles in life and I’m curious if you can pinpoint where you’re at right now? There’s no set time frame for each period but it goes something like this:
- The Phase of Discomfort
You’re going along in your life and it’s not great, you feel agitated, uneasy, frustrated in any areas- it could be relationship, career, you want to settle down, it could be financial but you know that you need to make a change. You need to make a new decision, do something different and it is scary. There could be a lot of anxiety, uncertainty during this period and it can last a while, until you make that change or you make that new decision and then you move into stage 2.
- The Phase of Pulling Apart
You feel like you are pulling apart at the seams. You’re having to break down relationships, maybe you move house or country, maybe you change career or go back to college, maybe it’s a period when you’re no longer tolerating certain behaviours or people in your life and it requires you to be firm and put boundaries in place, maybe you feel like you’re hurting people you care about but you know you need to do what you’re doing for you. You are pulling apart, tearing down the old to make way and make space for the new. You’ve started a transition of who you are and what you’re about and you move into stage 3
- The Phase of the ‘Jigsaw Puzzle’
You’re now in the process of putting the new picture of your life together. Finding the pieces that still fit, creating new pieces. There is of course still uncertainty and you feel a bit wobbly but you are more determined now, you’re gaining clarity and focus. You’re starting to see what that picture could look like and it’s exciting- still scary and oftentimes difficult but you’re putting in that work and you’ve built up your resilience and you move into stage 4 which is progress.
- The Phase of Progress
It is so welcome! You finally feel like you’re in the right groove, you’re gaining confidence, momentum , you’re seeing the results of your efforts. You’ve got that business plan done, you’ve been on some really great dates, you’ve lost that weight, you can run that 10k, you’ve saved that deposit- whatever it is for you! You’re thinking life feels good here, it feels charmed and magical. You’re moving forwards and closer to your dreams and you feel aligned- comfy in your own skill and strong within yourself.
The latter parts of this stage can be difficult to navigate- you’re so close to the big result, the big dream and fear often kicks in. Mind monkeys show up and question you- who do you think you are to have what you want? To be happy? Successful? This is normal and so so common and you need to keep moving forwards. Bring in the support teams in this period, bring in the coach, the trainer, the financial advisor- whatever you need to keep you on track! Far too many of us get so close, and then give up. Know that this doubt is often part of the process! When you stay on track, then you hit stage 5!
- The Phase of Elation
You’ve done it! You’ve hit the big dream, you’ve done what you set out to do, you’ve published the book, you’re actually travelling the world, you’re engaged or you’ve bought the house, you’ve had the baby, you’ve got that promotion, you’ve started the business! All of that good stuff! You’re there! This is the year that everyone wants to have and when you’re here, savour it like we talked about earlier! Suck as much goodness out of it as you can! You’ve up-levelled your life and you have those feelings of certainty and being in control- you know everything is ok.
Guess what happens then! When we are comfortable, have a sense of security and certainty about our lives? Guess what happens? We get bored, we get agitated, we get uneasy! And we slip back into stage 1 again!
This isn’t gospel! Maybe you’ll get bored and go back into the jigsaw stage and change a few pieces and then can go back to elation, maybe you’ll stay in elation for a number of years.
All this is a framework upon which you can try and place where you are right now, as well as helping you identify what’s next! So, what resonates with you the most and if you’re were to make a guess- where have you come from and where are you going?
For me, I’m definitely in progress and stepping into Elation and I need to put firm structures in place to ensure I continue to support that as well as bring in something new and exciting to my life to ensure I don’t get bored! Good time for a holiday so!
Something to ponder anyway! I’d love to hear where you’re at!
P.S Check out my Half Day Thrash It Out session! It’s the perfect way to get so clear on where you’re at, why you’re there and create a plan to take you where you need to go! Check it out- it’s the ultimate 1-1!