Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away –
As Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, I’m sure it’s no surprise that this issue of my ezine is devoted to the big L word- Love. I’ve been referred to as the ‘Relationship Queen’ by some of my friends but please bear in mind that this title wasn’t given to me because my relationships were perfect, rather because I was always in one! But a few years ago, I found myself single after a 6 year relationship ended via text message! Talk about ouch!! It was never going to work but it was only afterwards that I realised why. I want to share with you the lessons I have learnt and taken with me from that experience.
TOP 5 TIPS FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
1. Love Yourself
I don’t mean a vain, conceited self love rather a strong, healthy appreciation of who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship. By acknowledging your own worth, you are setting the standard for how you want your partner to treat you so ensure that you set it at the level that you truly deserve.
2. Know Your Partner’s values
This is so important and is the root of most conflict in relationships. You must find out what is most important to you and to your partner. Your values shape your decisions and therefore the direction of your life. If there is a conflict in the values of two individuals, there will be a conflict in the relationship as you will be pulled in different directions. For example, if one individual valued adventure and freedom and his/her partner valued security and family- can you see how there could be conflict in the relationship?
Talk to each other. Don’t let issues fester and build up. If something is bothering you, ensure that you talk to your partner about it. If you can’t talk openly about your needs and your feelings, then I would encourage you to ask yourself why not and perhaps look over tip number one.
If there is mutual respect, your relationship will be so much smoother. It is just so essential for a healthy relationship. An interesting thing however, is that people have different ‘rules’ about what respect means. For example, I may believe that you show the other person respect by being open and honest about your feelings, even if what you say be hurtful while my partner could believe that you show respect by never saying a bad word, raising your voice or by leaving the room if things got heated. If an argument occurred and I behaved my way and he behaved his way, we would both feel completely disrespected even though the intention on both sides was to be respectful! We are complex creatures which is why it is so important to understand tips two and three.
5. Enjoy time apart
Finally, enjoy time apart. Don’t lose sight of who you are as an individual and morph into a ‘we’! It tends to happen quite easily so keep an eye out! Nurture your relationships with your own friends and pursue your own interests. Your relationship needs to breathe and so do you!
I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! While I was writing these tips, I was asking myself ‘What’s the main difference between my past relationships and my current relationship?’ The answer really is tip number 1- Love Yourself. You see, now I have a strong and healthy appreciation of who I am and what I bring to the relationship.I know my own value and worth and I communicate what I will and will not tolerate. That was something I had always been scared to do in the past, I was always afraid of upsetting my partner in case he got mad and left. Basically, I put his needs ahead of my own because I was afraid of losing him. That relationship ended with my getting dumped via a text message after 6 years together so needless to say, that wasn’t a very healthy relationship!
Learning to love and appreciate myself was a tough journey and one that I’m still not done with but the changes in my life over the past few years have been incredible. This is one of the core modules that I teach in my ‘Be Your Own Fairy Godmother‘ Programme! If you need to stop being so hard on yourself, allow yourself to open up more and start to appreciate your own worth and power then I would highly encourage you to join us on the 21st February! Make it a gift of love to yourself this month!
Have you been feeling like this?
- Completely defeated and low energy? You’re working your ass off but it doesn’t feel like life is progressing at all
- That everyone else is doing so much better and are so much happier than you
- Your confidence is feeling low – you need a boost!
- You’re feeling completely overwhelmed that you’ve lost all direction for your life
- You’re wasting time and energy and money (and you know it)
- You don’t know where to start with getting a plan together
- You KNOW you have so much potential and power inside you and you’re ready to finally GO FOR IT!
Is this YOU??? If so, you are DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!
Don’t miss out on this!
A year from now, could you bear to be in exactly the same place, doing the same thing and feeling the same way about your life?
My 30 day ‘Be Your Own Fairy Godmother’ Programme starts on February 21st 2014! I won’t be running this course again until May/June 2014!
So sign up for this 30 day programme and get ready to Be Your Own Fairy Godmother and start making magic in your own life!
It’s decision time!