“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” Unknown
“I am nothing.” & ” I am worthless”
Those thoughts plagued me for years. They would be what I closed my eyes to at night and they were what greeted me every morning when I woke up. I slept a lot then, always wanting to hide from my own thoughts and feelings!
Though, as far as everyone else knew, I was ‘ok’! I was moving forwards in my life- making progress- baby steps!
My self-esteem began to suffer as the months went by. I felt inferior to everyone else, completely insignificant and totally alone. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life—and I was starting to not even care.
But several months (years) and thousands of hours of self abuse later, I found myself at rock bottom which is not a place I’d recommend to anyone BUT in saying that, there was one good thing about it. From there, the only way was up.
I decided that enough was enough. I had spent years studying coaching and reading about coaching, reading about making your dreams happen, reading other peoples stories, reading and listening to other peoples successes and happiness. The ‘bad crap’ that I had been involved with for the past few years was really just dragging me down- just plain old negativity and self loathing!
So the decision was made to stop with the ‘bad crap’, both from myself and other people. I tried to silence the voice in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough (although the gag did fall off from time to time) and asked myself what would really make me happy.
I’ve always been very expressive and creative. I loved to sing, play music, draw and dance when I was younger. But my favourite thing was always writing and believe it or not, listening. I loved to listen to stories, write stories, read stories- it didn’t matter!
So, I changed a lot of things but a big change was my career! I turned my back on my Industrial Relations and Law background that I had spent over 5 studying in college and I enrolled on a life coaching course that changed my life. I moved from an employee to an entrepreneur. I started taking action and making changes. Every single day, I am terrified but it’s a great terrified! I am happy with my decisions and I feel better about myself because I make my decisions for me and for my happiness.
So, I’ve learned a few things about choosing the right path for you and focusing on what will make you happy. If you’ve been struggling to make that choice, here’s some tips:
Switch off your worries.
Worry puts the weight of the world on your mind, body, and spirit. It can develop into anxiety which can plague you all day and can keep you up all night. During my period of living in what I now fondly recall as ‘my pit of despair’, I relentlessly questioned every aspect of my life. I would go to bed frustrated and upset as I told myself I wasn’t good enough, that I was insignificant and by constantly bashing myself and worrying about every single thing that could happen to me and the people I cared about, I was missing out on all the good stuff.
So, the best thing to do to switch off your worries is to start a daily gratitude practice. It is simple in theory but can be difficult in practice because it is a daily practice! It requires that you actually do it! Every day, at any time, take out a piece of paper and pen and write down ten things/people/experiences that you are grateful for. Actually stop and think about these things and why you are grateful for this. I found it really tough at the beginning and to be honest, I couldn’t think of anything I was grateful for! It took a while but I kept it up and soon, the floodgates opened!
When you start to figure out what you want in life, there will be obstacles. The biggest obstacle that you will have to overcome is yourself. This, I guarantee. You are the biggest culprit for getting in your own way and sabotaging your own success. But guess what….. that is the case for everyone. We are all our own worst enemy.
Use visualisation to help you overcome this! So basically, close your eyes and imagine yourself doing whatever it is that you want to do! It sounds silly but it really works- if you can ‘see’ yourself where you want to be, it really helps you get there. Remember, Seeing is Believing! Believe in yourself and believe in your decisions.
Surround yourself with positivity.
Limit the amount of time you spend with people who suck your energy and the very life force out of your body! Avoid naysayers, people who judge, belittle others and ridicule. Choose to surround yourself with positive, inspiring people and influences. You will feel much happier and better about yourself if you do this. I also stopped listening to the news and I completely avoid radio chat shows!
The most important thing to remember is that you are worth it, you can go another day, and you can be happy. Life will not throw you anything you cannot handle or overcome. Whatever is the worst thing that has happened to you, you are still here and you should be proud!
Once you start to appreciate yourself and acknowledge that you want whatever it is that you want for your own life, the path will clear and you will see the way forward again. Be kind to yourself, look after yourself and life will feel a whole lot happier!