Happy Thursday! I hope you’re having a fantastic week so far!
Today, I want to talk to you about the importance of knowing what you don’t want. Of getting so crystal clear on what you hate, detest, despise that your spidey senses tingle when it even comes close.
Yep, it’s an odd tactic and an odd topic but I guarantee you that this one exercise will bring you enormous clarity. Most of the time, when we’re feeling stuck in a particular area of life; we can’t see the wood for the tress. We just have this brain fog and we’re not even sure what it is we want. Also, a lot of the time we don’t allow ourselves to want what we want because we’re afraid we’ll just end up disappointed, so we stay stuck.
So, we’re stuck in this rut and we’re trying not to think about how crap it is and how much we hate it- you know all that positive thinking stuff! But at the same time, we’re not coming up with the next steps or clarity we need to progress. Enter getting crystal clear on what you don’t want.
This is called Clarity Through Contrast and it’s incredibly effective!
I want you to get a piece of paper, yes, right now and draw a line down the centre. On the top of the page write the topic- so this could be ‘Love life‘ or ‘Health’ or ‘Career‘ or ‘Money’– you get the jist! At the top of the left had column write ‘I don’t want‘ or ‘I fucking hate‘ whichever feels more you! Then set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write down everything that pops into your head.
So it could look something like this.
- I don’t want to feel so tired and bleh
- I don’t want to eat crap all the time
- I don’t want to feel fat and uncomfortable in myself
- I don’t want to feel so stressed during the week because I’m constantly late
- I don’t want to eat crap lunches from Spar
- I don’t want to go to bed so late because I feel like I should have got more done
So you just go on and on as much as you can free writing and getting all this crap out of your head. Getting clear on all the things that you really don’t want. This is your contrast and from here……….. you get clarity.
At the top of the right hand side, in the other column write ‘I want…’ and then flip over each statement so it might look like this.
- I want to feel more energetic and excited about life
- I want to eat good quality, nutritious food most of the time
- I want to feel toned and comfortable in my body
- I want to feel calmer, be more organised and on time
- I want to bring in good lunches that I enjoy
- I want to get to bed before 10.30pm and let go of whatever I didn’t get done and for that to be ok.
It’s a simple exercise, a simple shift and a simple turnaround to help you get out of a rut and get some clarity on what your true desires are. From there then, you must act.
So pick 2-3 things from your list that you say you want to break them down into steps. So what do you need to do to make this happen? When will you do it? How often will you do it? What do you need in place to enable you to do it? What if you fuck it up, what’s plan b? When will you start? What accountability do you need? What are the benefits of doing it? What are the results you’re expecting? Play with it, have fun with it, flesh it out and take the new actions!
It’s the little things that can make the biggest difference so do this exercise for yourself today and let me know how you get on!