Monthly Archives: April 2017

Be the lighthouse, not the electricity…

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” Anne Lamot

The first time I heard this quote it both cracked me up and also resonated deeply with me! I was Be the lighthouse not the electricityintroduced to this quote an concept by my spiritual teacher Rebecca Campbell and I’m curious if it resonates with you too?

You see, from my own personal experience and from working with so many women around the world, I can see that we have a tendency to be the electricity for other people. We allow other people to plug into our energy, our vibrancy and our light- we become their source of light. This can occur in many different ways and relationships- perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone and you know it’s not working for you, but your partner is very dependent on you. Or on your team in work, you have become the Go-To woman for everyone’s problems or perhaps you keep offering your attention and energy to others if you feel they need help…..

I was the electricity for others for many years and it didn’t serve me well. I didn’t have clear boundaries in place and often I would get phone calls or texts late at night from friends, family and even friends of friends who needed help, a lift or if they’d had a row with their partner and needed to talk. I allowed people to plug into me so they’d always feel lighter and brighter leaving me but I’d feel drained and duller as a result.

It took a long time to learn to be the lighthouse instead of the electricity. and it didn’t come naturally. One of the main reasons why I struggled with becoming the lighthouse was because of my desire ‘to be needed’ and this is something that comes up regularly with clients! Even though it’s draining and a pain in the ass, it can be a great ego boost to be ‘the one they run to’. But over time, I was able to that I had been doing people a disservice by being their energy source. I was enabling their ‘helpless’ states instead of challenging them in a kind way and pointing out their strengths and resourcefulness.

Through learning how to coach people, studying emotional agility, wellness and working on my own boundaries and self worth, I gradually become stronger and more solid within myself. My focus now is to connect to my own light through taking care of myself and living a life that is in alignment with who I am and what I desire. That allows me to do work I am passionate about and where I can teach people how to do that for themselves.

So, how about you? Are you running around the island looking for ships to save or are you focused on becoming strong and grounded within yourself so you can shine brightly like a lighthouse?

P x

How to Do Your Own Quarterly Review

It’s almost halfway through April already can you believe it? Time is going too fast!

Remember in January when you were looking at the year with fresh eyes, full of dreams, wishes and aspirations for 2017? Maybe it was eating healthier, changing jobs, working on your personal relationships, planning that world trip……

How are you getting on with that sweetie?

In order to make your life one that brings you joy and excitement, one that makes you feel you’re stepping up and moving forwards- you need to be aware of what you want and the progress you’re making towards it.

Busyness can take over and life will pull us in a different direction to our desires if we don’t actively take charge and figure out what’s working and what’s not working.

One of the ways I do that is by doing a Quarterly Review and I’m inviting you to do the same. In this 60 minute free video I walk you through this process where we will take stock of where you are at, we will celebrate your wins, acknowledge your losses and learn from them, make new goals and continue to pursue our main goals with renewed passion and vigour.

If you’re not into videos then that is cool! I’ll briefly explain the process I use so that you can do it yourself!

Getting Ready to Do Your Quarterly Review

First, gather any materials you have from the beginning of the year that has to do with your theme, goals, resolutions etc.  If you don’t have anything like that – it’s okay!  You can start from fresh!

If you were a member of the Wisdom Circle 2017, you can use your Week 3 workbook. If you weren’t a member, you can download the week 3 workbook via this link or you can use a blank journal or word document!

Step One:  Review the past 3 months (January, February, March).

  1. Looking back over January, February and March- was I being the woman I wanted to be? Was I doing what I truly desired to do? Did I feel how I was desiring to feel?
  2. What worked really well for me in the past 3 months?
  3. What was particularly challenging? And what did I learn from that?
  4. Did I honour my theme word so far this year? In what ways?
  5. Did I honour how I wanted to behave so far this year? In what ways?
  6. How can I build on the wisdom I have gained in the last 3 months?

Step Two:  Evaluate your Progress on your 1st Quarter Goals.

Did you achieve what you wanted to in the first three months of this year?  Have you celebrated your success?  Do you need to change any timelines or strategies? Was there failures that need to be acknowledged and learnt from? What will you do differently moving forwards?

Step Three:  Prepare for April, May & June

  1. How can I carry forward the Wisdom I’ve gained in Winter/Spring?
  2. What am I yearning for next? I love this question! Breathe into it and really think about it from an emotional perspective- how do you want to feel? What is your heart, mind, body and soul craving? What are you yearning for? What are you desiring? Pay attention and listen to yourself!
  3. Who or what am I particularly grateful for during the past 3 months?
  4. What 3 things can I improve on for the next 3 months? And what actions will I take to work towards that?

Step Four:  Create your Goals for April, May & June.

The first thing to be aware of here is the difference between a ‘project/deadline’ goal and a ‘lifestyle/maintenance’ goal. For example, creating an online dating profile and committing to go on 3 dates a month for the first three months is a project/deadline goal. It’s clear, it’s defined and it can be ticked off your list.

For a lifestyle/maintainence goal- it is different and will require a different mindset. This is about something you want to bring into or eliminate from your life so for example, it could be eating breakfast every day, practicing 10 minutes of mindfulness in the evening before bed, it could be a daily yoga practice or getting more sleep. This is a goal that will require regular committed action.

  1. Come up with no more than 3 goals that you want to focus your attention on for the next 3 months. Be clear about whether they are project goals or lifestyle goals.
  2. Write out your ‘why’ for each one- why it’s important for you to acheive it, what the benefits will be.
  3. What actions do you need to take to acheive these goals? (If you’re unsure, then just come up with the first step- often the path is unclear until we start walking down it)
  4. What systems could you put in place to support you? (This could be anything from buddying up with a friend for weekly accountability, hiring a coach to work with you, prepping your breakfast the night before so that you remember to eat well, leaving your gym clothes out to remind you to bring them with you- think of small things that you could do that will support you!
  5. Start making some magic and take action!

So that’s it!

Give yourself the gift of a few hours of ‘you’ time to really dig into this review.  

Creating change and living the best possible life, the most meaningful life for you takes attention and intention. You are worthy of your attention.

To Being the change you want to see,

Until next time,

P x