Monthly Archives: August 2016

Are you using your personal power?

“Your power to choose can never be taken from you. It can be neglected and it can be ignored. But if used, it can make all the difference.” – Steve Goodier

In the world of coaching and self help, you will come across the term ‘personal power’ quite a lot! I use it a lot as well so I wanted to write a bit today about what it actually means!

What does personal power mean?

To be honest, it will be different for each person but how I define personal power is ‘your ability to take action’. For me, my ability to take action and follow through equates to how powerful I feel within myself. We all have those times when we feel stuck, uncertain, indecisive, overwhelmed, anxious- all of those negative emotions that come into play in our lives. Often they have a lot in common and that is that you’re more in your head and not in action.

The most powerful way to shape our lives is by taking action- it’s not by talking about it, thinking about it or dreaming about it, it’s by going for it. Every action we take is a cause set in motion and it builds on our previous actions to move us in a particular direction. When we’re moving in a particular direction, eventually we will arrive at our destination. That destination then depends on you- have you been moving towards what you want or have you been moving towards what you don’t want.

Every action is a cause set in motion (as is every inaction) but it’s what we do on a consistent basis that brings us to our destination. So for example, if I haven’t been taking action and have sat on the couch night after night, my destination will be that my jeans are tighter and that my energy is low.  If I’ve been saying yes to extra demands on my time in work, my destination may be resentment and burn out. If I’ve been taking action and going out running on a consistent basis, my destination could be a personal best time and a sense of pride and achievement.

So, what comes before action? The answer is decisions. You have, whether you like it or not, have been making decisions and choosing your path in life. Everything that happened in your life, whether your thrilled about it or bummed about it, began with you making a choice and making a decision. The decisions that you’re making today will shape your life for the weeks and years to come… where will you be in ten years time based on the decisions you’re making today? It’s something to ponder….

Is it our life circumstances.. or our decisions?

Now, I’ll admit, I didn’t want to believe this to be true but the more I worked with different people the more evidence I gained that it’s our decisions rather than our life circumstances which impact our direction in life most powerfully. We all know people who have had a really rough time, that were dealt a pretty bad hand in life yet, they have turned their lives into something amazing! And, we all know people who had every advantage that was possible to have yet they’ve always been miserable. It’s our decisions that make the difference, not our conditions.

The really interesting thing is though that the majority of my clients don’t trust themselves Are you using your personal powerenough to make big decisions anymore. A main reason being is that they’re focused on the circumstances- perhaps you chose to study accountancy in college, graduated and went to work as an accountant- and hated it! You have an idea of what you’d like to do instead but you don’t make the decision because you don’t trust that it will work out. You tell yourself, I’m the one who chose to do the accountancy so obviously I can’t be trusted to make decisions on my life.

I see this over and over again and you’re missing the point. You were the one who made a decision, invoked your personal power and brought yourself there; you are the only one who can get you out of there as well by making a different decision! This is personal power and the majority of us are choosing not to exercise it.

There are no failures in life, only results.

If the first thing didn’t work out, try something else. If that doesn’t work, try something else, if that doesn’t work, try something else.

What could your life look life if you invoked your personal power? What new decision would you make? I’d love to hear your comments and feedback!

Until next week,

Don’t wait, Make it Happen,

P x

P.S

Do you have big dreams for yourself but keep getting in your own way?

If your answer is yes then the ‘How To Play Big when You Feel Small‘ is for YOU!

Join me on Wednesday the  7th September at 6.15pm for this FREE 60 minute Master Class and dive deep into this topic with me.

I’m A Scaredy-Cat!

I’m a complete scaredy cat. When the going gets tough, my default state of being is hiding and scaredy catsleeping myself into a safe cocoon of darkness. That’s what I want to be doing right now instead of writing this. I’m feeling anxious, scared, unworthy. I’m writing this post and I have the self talk of ‘who do you think you are?’ and feelings of being an imposter because I’m aware I’m scared and anxious.

 But you know what, this is the real me.

I am a total chicken! I get so scared that I get stuck in limbo not knowing what way to go.  The future scares me, asking for what I want scares me, doing things I know I want to do deep down scares me, telling people the truth scares me, looking at my finances when business has been quiet scares me, every time I write a blog post or tell you a bit of my story scares me, relationships scare me, making decisions scare me, running my own business terrifies me. Sometimes the thought of facing a difficult day scares me and I wake up with crippling anxiety in my chest, my jaw and throat tighten and I have such a strong desire to hide from the world. Life can be really scary but guess what? That’s ok. Also, I know I am a scaredy cat and want to hide and that’s ok too. I’ve accepted this.

You might think that this is a strange blog post for a life coach to write- it’s a bit blunt, not exactly motivational and so far isn’t offering much hope or inspiration!! And you’re right! It is an odd post for a coach to write but it’s also me being honest with you.

I’m always afraid and fear is always present in my life but it’s not a problem for me. It doesn’t get in my way or hold me back. Anymore… (well, maybe the odd time!!)

But my default state of hiding used to win all the time, I hid for most of my late teens and early 20s. I never really stretched myself and I stayed within my comfort zone. It was boring and frustrating as hell!! I didn’t really do anything fun and exciting either!

So I started to study fear- probably to try and figure out what was wrong with me so you can imagine my surprise when all of the books I read and seminars I attended were actually telling me that fear was normal, what I was feeling was normal, my desire to hide was normal.

One particular book I read was Susan Jeffers ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’- it took me years to get through this book because it made far too much sense and I just didn’t want to hear it. The main message in the book is that fear comes from an uncertainty within ourselves of our ability to handle the situation should something bad happen. Susan Jeffers says, “All you have to do to weaken your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.” So basically, cultivate self trust, self love and self compassion.

She talks about the 5 truths about fear, my favourite being ‘The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow’. Everybody fears doing, or being, something new because of the uncertainty within unfamiliar situations. If you do not fear, you do not grow.

This is why fear is no longer a problem for me.

I accept it and love that I continue to grow and push myself in spite of it. I said at the beginning that I would rather be hiding in my bed than writing this but I’m still typing so it’s more evidence for me that I’m progressing in spite of my fear and that I can handle whatever will come my way.

The reason I chose to write about this topic now is because life has been kicking my ass for the past few weeks! The past few weeks have been really tough, it was my baby girls first birthday and I was missing my mam and my nan. I was so busy that I wasn’t looking after myself properly, not getting enough sleep or rest, feeling that I was doing a half arsed job with everything which for me, feeds into the feelings of not being good enough. I know this space, I lived here for years and it can be really disheartening when I go back there. The negative self talk chips in with the ‘Who do you think you are? and ‘You obviously haven’t made any progress in your life if you’re back here again feeling low and anxious’. My mind, body and spirit have been taking their sweet time to come together and get on board with my plans and goals for the 2nd half of 2016. Getting back into my work groove has kicked my ass. Getting back into any sort of self care routine and rituals such as exercise, proper food and sleep has kicked my ass as well! In short, fear has crept in and self care, love and compassion has taken a nose dive! But what I’m so grateful for, is my work and being able to connect with so many other women like me all around the world and the message I’m hearing back is that …………...it’s not just me. Seems like this summer has been kicking lots of asses! But hey, if you do not fear, you do not grow! Let’s all be scaredy cats but push ourselves in spite of it!

Fear is my constant companion- how bout you?

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! I’d love to hear your thoughts so pop over to the facebook page and say hi!!! Also, check out my brand new group coaching programme ‘Elevate 2016′– there are 6 places left and I’m so excited about it! We start in 6 weeks- xx

Until next week, feel the fear and do it anyway!

P x