Monthly Archives: November 2014

Making Space

About 5 years ago, my sis, Lyn and I had to sell our family home- very quickly! I think it was about 4 months from being told it had to be sold to walking out the door for the last time. Needless to say, it was very stressful, especially for Lyn who was 6 months pregnant at the time! We moved in with my Dad for a while until we got ourselves together, refocused and were able to figure out the next step. Life goes on and the past is the past but last week, we were brought back there!

We had left boxes of our ‘stuff’ in my Dad’s house for the past 5 years. He had been very patient with us, but there were two whole rooms in his home taken up with boxes and he had started to remind us every time he saw either one of us! Anyway, we agreed and we set a date- we would tackle our stuff and get it sorted!

As I tore the brown tape off box after box, there were loads of ‘ooohhhhs and aaahhhhhs’ but mostly I was wondering why I still had all this stuff! I had boxes of notes from college courses I had done almost 10 years ago, I had clothes that I hadn’t worn in about ten years (it was a bit depressing to see how tiny the tops were and perhaps a bit embarrassing as well!). Basically, I had piles of crap and so did Lyn.

It was a great lesson for me in how much I have changed in the past few years. When we had to sell the house 5 years ago, we had been so reluctant to let anything go and we had packed up box after box, clinging to our ‘precious’ stuff. Scratched cd’s, old clothes, old cosmetics, broken ornaments & videos! Now, I will admit that I am sentimental and that I do have old shoe boxes with pictures, cards and keepsakes that mean something to me but what we found in those boxes was really pure shit!

But this day was to be a major overhaul and de-cluttering initiative. There would be no mercy and we had three options: Bin, Charity Shop or Keep.

It really got me thinking that when we embark on a major de-clutter, what we are actually declutter_life_2engaging in is a complete re-evaluation of our lives. We’re letting go, paring down, purging, prioritising, re-evaluating, discovering, risk-taking by letting things go and even developing a new level of trust in ourselves. So this de-cluttering day actually became an extensive tour of our entire lives — past, present and future.

Our mam died in November twelve years ago  and we had a lot of her clothes packed away. Clothes that we would never wear but 5 years ago, we had thought that if we threw it away or gave it to a charity shop, it would be like snipping the umbilical cord and letting her go, shoving her off into the cosmos saying ‘Thanks a mill, see ya around! Bye!’ There was so much guilt at the idea of getting rid of ‘stuff’- especially stuff that we feel connected to in some way.

But what we realised during that day was that we had fused together our mam and the jumper that she used to wear. Putting her jumper into a bag for charity doesn’t mean we love her any less. The emotional connection and sense of closeness we have is to our mam — not her old jumper with the holes in it! And of course, we have so many other keepsakes which we enjoy so much more than a bag of clothes gathering dust in the attic. We were ready to let a lot go and as I said, it was a great lesson for both of us in how much we had changed in the past few years. After the realisation I had with being able to let go of a lot my mams’ ‘stuff’, I was easily able to let go of my own stuff aka crap!

And on the other side of the clutter purge was…a wonderful sense of freedom. I really think that the more we let go, the more space we open up for new stuff to grow in our lives. At the end of the day, we only have so much emotional, psychological and physical space. But clutter and holding onto ‘stuff’ represents so much more than just that — it’s physical, symbolic and energetic too. The ‘letting go’ forces us to trust that the unknown or the future will be ok. We can’t let go of boxes of old college notes unless we trust in our own decision that we aren’t going to pursue that particular path. For example, last week I sent very expensive law books to a charity shop and recycled a huge box of notes. I had been holding onto them just in case I lost my mind and went back to law but this time, I was ready to acknowledge that there was no going back for me! Onwards and upwards! Consequently, each box I packed for charity was an exercise in deepening my confidence in myself and in my future.

Each time we choose to get rid of a possession, we are taking a symbolic pair of scissors and cutting the energetic connection we have with the item.

To do that, we have to make some choices in our life and examine who we were and what we were about in the past, who we are and what we’re about today and about who we want to be and what we want to be about in the future.

The more we trim down all our stuff, the closer we get to living in the present moment and being comfortable in the current reality. You see, the more we purge, the less we attach to the past and the less we attach to the future. We’re making the decision to live in the present moment. The past is over and can’t be changed, the future is yours to make of it what you will…and you trust yourself to blossom without a backup supply of jeans that no longer fit you, broken suitcases, videos, scratched cds and 12 half used bottles of perfume!

We felt so energetic and lighter at the end of our de-cluttering day. We really hadn’t realised how much we had changed in the past few years, but we were able to acknowledge it that evening over a bottle of wine! Now, we’re living more in the moment! We were able to let go of a bunch of stuff that represented old dreams, unfinished projects as well as stuff that caused guilty twinges from an impulse buyer’s heart! I actually felt much calmer and freer from clearing all that space in my Dad’s house that I’m already pondering tackling the junk room in my own place next week!

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so please pop over to the facebook page and say hi!

Until next time,

Make some space and trust yourself to blossom!

P x

Stop Waiting to be Rescued!

‘Stop waiting to be rescued’

I’ll be honest, I shocked myself, I couldn’t believe I had written those words. Now I’m not talking about a few years ago, I’m talking about a few weeks ago! You see, I always keep a journal and I was in the flow of writing before bed when it dawned on me what I had written.

Things had been a bit crappy- I’d lost someone I was really close to, I had to press pause on my business for a few week to grieve, I’d stopped going to yoga and was eating crap which resulted in a bad sleeping pattern, no energy, money worries and a tense body! I had gotten myself into one of those negativity spirals– I know you know what it’s like! When you know you need to get it together and take back control but it feels like sooooo much effort and you just don’t know where to start- so you don’t do anything!

Well, when my eyes lingered over the words ‘stop waiting to be rescued’ in my journal, it shocked me because it was true – I actually was waiting to be rescued (Again!) I wanted someone or something to come and make everything better. I was prepared to hand over my own personal power and responsibility and I longed for someone else to take control and tell me what to do (and probably do it for me!)

I was waiting for something that I knew would never happen.

I used to get caught up in ‘rescue fantasies’ all the time! Maybe it was because of all the Disney movies and fairytales I was told as a child but I really bought into it! Wishing and hoping that somehow, someway things would sort themselves out! Maybe I’d win the lotto, maybe I’d get headhunted, maybe my dream job would just land in my life, I’d be looked after and taken care of and I wouldn’t have to worry, maybe I’d win a house and a car! This was a major theme of my late teens and early twenties! It took me a long time to realise that supergirl was busy and that no one was coming to my rescue and that was absolutely fantastic!

Why was it absolutely fantastic?

Because it meant I could stop waiting and start getting on with my life and that is what I did! (Until a few weeks ago hence my surprise!)

It was interesting because these feelings of wanting to be rescued had crept back in and I hadn’t noticed but as soon as I did, I knew what to do – I had to become my own supergirl. I had to be my own fairy godmother! (Again!)hero

This is how you do it..

Step 1: Stop Waiting

Playing the waiting game is boring, it’s really boring. There is nothing to do except wait for something to happen and hope things will work out. Screw that! Stop waiting and decide what it is you want for you. Then, move to step 2.

Step 2: Be Brave and Take Action

Yes, it can be scary when you realise that you’re going to be the one who is going to have to make your desires come true. It is all down to you, no one else, just you. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to step up to that and commit to being your own hero. But you have it within you. Think of times before that you have made something happen for yourself and keep a record of it! Start with taking small steps towards what you want for you and that will help you build momentum to keep going.

Step 3: Sweep yourself off your feet!

This is my favourite step! A loving gesture from you to you because you are amazing and deserve it! What would you do to sweep yourself off your feet? Buy yourself some flowers? Book a massage? Book a weekend away? Get into the habit of doing something like this for yourself on a regular basis!

So, how bout you? Do you ever catch yourself waiting to be rescued? Do you need to become your own fairy godmother?

I designed the Fairy Godmother programme because of this, to help teach the skills, tools and strategies that we need to be able to step up and be the hero in our own life! If this resonates with you, then I would love if you would trust yourself and go for it!

If you’re willing to invest in you and your life, then I want to support that and invest in you too! Click this link to the Fairy Godmother Programme and at the bottom of the page is it says ‘Let’s Make Magic’ – under that is the link to my gift for you!

25% off the entire ’30 Days to Be your Own Fairy Godmother’ programme.

Act swiftly because the doors close on this programme at 9pm tonight (22nd February 2016)

Hopefully I’ll see you there and until then,

Sweep yourself off your feet!

Love P x