Monthly Archives: January 2014

We’re one month in! Are you excited?

So, we’re one month into the New Year! How is 2014 going for you? Are you feeling excited about your life? Do you feel driven towards achieving what you’d like to achieve this year?

One month in, for many people is a dip. The motivation and drive that was there at the beginning of the year starts to fade away and we got caught up in our day to day living and we forget to design our life the way we want it! You see, many people know what they would like to do but they never do it! The reason is that they’re lacking the drive that only being excited about your life can give you!

Instead of getting excited about the things we want and working towards them, we often turn to worry, feelings of lack, hard work and not good enough!

Think about it, if you’d like to own your own home- do you spend more time feeling excited, looking up brochures of what you really want, getting that clear in your mind and working towards it OR do you spend most of your time focusing on your lack of savings, on the difficulty of getting a mortgage, and on the fear of taking a big step? Whatever you focus on will determine your outcome, it will determine the results that you get!

Your perfect life isn’t going to fall into your lap, you need to go out and make it happen! I’m a big fan of personal power, I honestly believe that most of us haven’t even tapped into the vast resources that we have within ourselves to do, be and have whatever it is we want.

I know you might be thinking, ‘well yeah that sounds great but surely just wanting something  doesn’t just make it all happen?‘ I couldn’t agree with you more. If there’s something that you want in your life, you need to get excited about it! Turn it into a goal and immediately follow that with developing a plan and action steps towards its achievement. You already have the power to do this, you have the power to take action. If you haven’t been able to summon it up until this point, it’s simply because you’re focusing on the fear and difficulty rather than the crazy excitement and good feelings you will have as a result of achieving it!

 Often the things that we want seem so unattainable, they just seem to be too far away from where we are right now and we can’t see how we could possibly get there. That is what stops most people from even trying BUT that’s how it is for everyone.

99% of people don’t know how they’ll achieve what they want to achieve but they go after it anyway, trusting that the path will become clearer as they go.

 Jack Canfield Author of ‘Chicken Soup for The Soul’ described his understanding of this principle…….

“A car driving through the night, the headlights only reach 100 – 200 feet in front of the car. But you could make it all the way from California to New York whilst driving in the dark, because all you have to see is the next 200 feet. And that’s how life tends to unfold before us. If we just trust, the next 200 feet will unfold, and the next 200 feet after that and so on. Your life will keep unfolding and it will eventually get you to the destination of whatever it is that you truly want”.

The important thing is not necessarily that you know how you will achieve what you want, but more so the definite decision that you will go after your dreams and get excited about it! Trust me, just take the first step, and then the next step will come into your view.

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress!

If you’d like get crazy excited about your life in 2014 and ACTUALLY make the changes you want to make and ACHIEVE the things you want to achieve, then check out The Quarter Life Club! This is my monthly membership programme with a private facebook community, Live Coaching Sessions once a month and we tackle a new topic every month including Life Design for Girls; Goal- Setting for Girls; Overcoming Not Good Enough for Girls; Belief Systems for Girls; Assertiveness for Girls and many more! All for less than €10 per month! Click here to find out more!

Until next time, get excited!

P x

Two Questions vs Four Questions

When it comes to our lives, most of the time we ask just 2 questions. They are:

What do I want?

And

How Do I get it?

But the funny thing is that often, we’re not 100% sure what we want so we look around us to try and figure out what we should want. We’re told by others what we’d be good at, what constitutes a ‘good life’. We are influenced by our friends, our families, our parents, media and our culture. We are conditioned to move towards things that we’re told we should want.

So anyway then we ask the second question, How do I get it? We’re told the path- it’s generally work really hard, put your head down and keep going. So we duly oblige, we work really hard and pursue that path only to get there and realise that it doesn’t really fit us!

If we’re lucky and have the resources, we may be able to go back a step and ask the first question again’ Ok, what do I want now since that didn’t work out too well? And what happens; we spin ourselves right back into the same loop again.

I was spinning for a good while before I realised that I needed to ask four questions, not two. These 4 questions honestly changed my life and have changed the lives of so many people that I’ve worked with. The four questions you need to ask, in this order are:

 1. Who Am I?

2. What Do I want?

3. Why do I want this?

4. How Do I get it?

 1. Who Am I?

How could we forget this most basic question? The first time I asked this of myself I hadn’t a clue! I couldn’t answer it without just saying I’m Paula. But really, the question is all about getting to the core of you. What makes you tick? What do you enjoy? What’s most important to you in your life? In your work? What do you value? What do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about other people? What do you believe about the world? What shapes you? What did you love to do as a kid? What makes you you? You are completely unique! You have a unique set of skills, life experience, passions, characteristics, traits, thoughts and emotions to anyone else in the world!

Do you think it might be worthwhile to spend some time getting to know yourself first before you make decision about what you want to do with your life?

 2. What do I want?

We’ve met this question before but I assure you that the answer for a lot of people is quite different if they’ve taken the time to really figure themselves out first. There is clarity, confidence and a huge boost to your self esteem when you ask this question aligned with the knowledge of who you are.

3. Why do I want it?

This is the safety net question. If the word ‘should’ is in your answer then I want the Star Trek Red Alert noise to play in your head! By asking this question, you are making sure that you ‘own’ your decision! To make sure that there’s no influence or interference from people who are not you! To make sure that it is in sync with who you are.

 4. How do I get it?

If you approach your career asking the above questions, you’ll have greater clarity about who you are and what you want to offer the world, you’ll know exactly what you want and what you need to prioritise, you’ll know the motivation behind your desires and that will be the driving force to get you to take action and because of your confidence, focus and passion, you will figure out how to do it.

It doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is one of the most powerful and simplest ways to take control of your life, how you feel about the decisions you make and more importantly how you feel about yourself!

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! If you’d like to explore these 4 questions in more detail then check out The Quarter Life Club! This is my monthly membership programme with a private facebook community, Live Coaching Sessions once a month and we tackle a new topic every month including Life Design for Girls; Goal- Setting for Girls; Overcoming Not Good Enough for Girls; Belief Systems for Girls; Assertiveness for Girls and many more! All for less than €10 per month! Click here to find out more!

Until next time, ask yourself the right questions!

P x

Do you have any goals?

I often hear people say ‘I don’t really have any goals’. This statement simply demonstrates their lack of understanding of how goals actually work. You see, the human mind is always pursuing something, even if its nothing more than avoiding trouble and pain!

We all have goals. The problem is, for many people, they’re not aware of them! Most people’s goals are to ‘pay the bills’, ‘get by’, or to ‘make it to the end of the month and still have some cash left’- basically, they’re caught up in the trap of making a living rather than designing a life! None of those goals would give you the motivation you need to tap into the vast reserve of personal power within you!

We have to remember that our goals affect us, whatever they are. The best way I can describe this is using the metaphor of a garden. If we don’t consciously plant the seeds of what we want in the garden, it becomes overrun with weeds. Weeds are just automatic, unfortunately we don’t have to put any effort in to get them!

If we really want to see what we’re capable of and I know you do; we need to find a goal that is going to challenge us. Something that will push us beyond our limits and outside of our comfort zones- that’s the only way that you really see what you’re capable of.

The most important key in goal setting is to find a goal big enough to inspire you, something that will force you out of your comfort zone, something that will show you what you’re made of! The way I know I’ve set the right level goal for me is when it seems far-fetched, it seems impossible but at the same time, the idea of actually achieving it makes me crazy excited. What would that be for you? Something that seems far-fetched but at the same time, the idea of it makes you crazy excited. Would it be to travel the world? Would it be to be a black belt in karate? Would it be to have your own business? Would it be to have your own home? In order to truly find that inspiration and achieve those impossible goals, we have to suspend our negative beliefs about what we’re capable of achieving.

So, what’s stopping you? What’s holding you back? What’s getting in your way? I know that you’ve heard of goal setting before, I know that this isn’t new stuff to you. But even though we both know that you know this, do you actually have a list of clearly defined goals for the results that you absolutely will produce in your life? Mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually? What’s stopped you?

For many people, it’s the unconscious fear of disappointment. Most of the time, we say fear but we’re not afraid of fear, we’re afraid of something and for most of us, it is disappointment and failure. Most of us have set goals in the past and failed to achieve them and as a result of the pain of that experience and the desire to avoid that feeling in the future, we stop setting goals. We don’t want to have expectations that are going to get dashed! If we don’t expect to see the world and travel, then we won’t be disappointed if we don’t. Does that sound familiar?

So, how do some people tap into that that inner strength and reserve which allows them to dig deep and keep going despite their fear? Research has shown that they have the ability to screen what their mind pays attention to. Our minds can only focus on a certain number of things at any one time, so our brain spends a lot effort deciding what not to pay attention to. There are countless stimuli bombarding you at every moment of the day but your brain deletes most of it and focuses on what you believe is important.

Once you actually make the decision that something is a priority, you give it tremendous emotional intensity and by continuing to focus on it, by keeping your eye on the ball- any resource that will support you in achieving your goal will become clear. This is why it’s not important to understand exactly how you will achieve your goals when you first set them. Remember, often they seem impossible. Trust that by making the decision and continually focusing on it, you will find everything that you need along the way.

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! If you need some support in your Career then check out my brilliant programme ’30 Days to Conquer Your Career’ starting on Monday 20th January! Over the course of 30 days, we’ll explore your career timeline, you will uncover your purpose and passion, you will get a gale force wind in your sails by acknowledging your strengths, skills and core values and you will walk away from the programme with a clear vision for your future career including a action plan to get you there! To find out more and secure your place, click here!

Until next time, start thinking about what you really want!

P x

What’s your label?

Probably one of the biggest obstacles that you will face anytime that you want to make a change in your life is……….Your Label. You have been branded and labelled from infancy and the extent to which you have bought into this labelling, is the extent to which you’ll find it difficult to discard. As much as I cringe to say it, but for many of us, we are who we have been told we are. We’re wearing our own brand and it can be quite restrictive. Your labels, positive or negative, have boxed you in quite nicely!

A label/branding/story- call it what you will, that really seemed to stick to myself and my sister Lyn was that, at some point in our childhood,  someone said ‘Lynda got the looks and Paula got the brains’ or something along the lines of that! That statement stuck to us like glue! It was a label that defined both of us for years. Lyn assumed that she wasn’t academic or smart and gave herself a really hard time about that; I just didn’t bother with my appearance and had really low self-esteem about how I looked!

Some people say that your culture and environment determines your personality and character. Others believe that you are born with your character intact and your destiny is already sewn up. What do you think- does biology or the stars decide your fate? Are we purely the products of what we have been raised to be? What I believe anyway is that we always have free will. Who you are right now is of importance but what is paramount is who you will become.

Who you are is who you have been up until this moment. It is our choices and how we respond to our environment that ultimately shapes our lives. Once the deck has been cut, you’re the one dealing the hand. It sounds easy doesn’t it? That we can just choose to respond to our Words that stick on youenvironment in a different way than we have done for the past 20 years! I agree that it sounds easy but putting it into practice can be quite difficult. Now remember, I said difficult; not impossible.

How to Create Yourself

Step 1: Start Picking!

First you must free yourself! Awareness is power! Lyn and I both knew that this statement had been made and we both knew that it had defined us. But when we talked about it, it began to lose its power. You know the way if you buy a new item of clothing, the label might be stuck on but as soon as you see it, you start to pick it off. That’s exactly the same here, as soon as you see it, start picking off the old, untrue and outdated labels! So, who predicted your future? What label might be boxing you in?

Step 2: What’s stuck on you?

Make a list of the labels that have been stuck on you that do absolutely nothing for you. For example, have you been told that:

  • You’re always late
  • You’re easily distracted
  • You’re lazy
  • You’re brutal at sports
  • You’re argumentative
  • You’re too soft
  • You’re really shy

Now, I want you to see these as they are – someone else’s perspective. In fact, they’re more than likely meaningless, throwaway comments that got stuck on you and have been stuck ever since! These are the easiest labels to pick off, when you can see them for what they are- a throwaway comment on a report card from 6th class or something like that- they tend to just drop off

 Step 3: Re-Brand!

If you’re someone who has been labelled as ‘always late’ and it’s something that you no longer want to be true; then drop it now. This actually is one of mine! I was always late for school, probably because I wasn’t bothered about it but I was always told my friends, by teachers, by the person in charge of detention ‘Paula, you’re always late.’ That was a label which stuck with me for years; I was always late because that’s who I was. I was someone who was always late. I definitely wanted to re-brand that aspect because I hated being late, it made me anxious and tense! So I picked off the label and rebranded as someone who is on time. I developed new habits by modelling people who were on time. I actually plan to rebrand myself again and someone who is always early!

 What’s your new story?

You are the author of your own life. Only you can take the credit. Only you can take the blame. You are writing your story every day based on how you choose to respond to your environment! The question is not ‘Who Am I?’ but ‘Who do I want to be?’ This question takes you out of the box that you’ve been hiding in, forces you to look at the labels and decide if you want to rebrand because the truth is that your story could be amazing!

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Progress! I’d love to hear what labels you’ve decided to pick off and how your story will change as a result! Drop me a line and let me know!

Also, I was just wondering how are you going to change your life this year? What are you going to do differently?

I’m running the Fairy Godmother Programme for the last time in 2016 next week! It will be a whole month focused on YOU! You will walk away with focus, clarity, confidence and determination to make it happen. It’s an amazing way to spend a month! Check it out here!

Until next time,

Choose your story!

P x