What’s most important to you in life? We don’t ask ourselves this question very often and the beautiful thing about this is that everyone is completely unique in their response! Some people say family, some say love, some say success, some say health, some say security, some say safety, some say adventure. What all these things have in common though, is that they are values.
Our values are the things that are most important to us in our lives.
They guide our every decision and therefore where we end up. If we’re not clear about what is truly important to us in our life, then how on earth could we ever expect to be able to make an effective decision? If you ever found yourself having difficulty making a decision in a particular situation, I can guarantee you that the problem was that you weren’t clear on what you valued more in the situation. It’s important to remember that all decisions really come down to values clarification.
When you know what’s important to you, making a decision is quite simple. However, most people are unclear about what is really important to them and therefore any decision making becomes a process of internal torture, second guessing and self esteem obliterating. Let’s be honest here, you feel like an idiot sometimes when you keep changing your mind and when you’re unsure about something, other people are often more than happy to tell you what to do!!
One of the biggest dangers for women in their 20s and 30s is not knowing what is most important to us. We are raised in a culture in which we aspire to have the nice house, car, clothes, stable respectful job, marriage, family as we have been socialised to value the same things as our own social circle. But at this stage, if you’re the type of person who is actually reading this then I know that you have realised that acquiring things simply will not fulfil you. Only living and doing what you believe is the ‘right thing’ will give you that sense of inner strength and peace that you deserve and crave. The ‘right thing’ is acknowledging and living in accordance with your own personal values.
Remember that your values- whatever they are- are what are guiding you to your ultimate destiny. They are creating your path by guiding you to make certain decisions and take certain actions consistently. Not using this internal compass intelligently always leads to frustration, disappointment, lack of fulfilment and that nagging sense that life could be something different or better somehow but you’re just not sure how. On the other hand, when you do use this internal compass intelligently and consciously you will experience a sense of certainty, flow and an inner peace that few people ever experience.
The only way we can ever feel truly happy and fulfilled in our lives in the long term is to live in accordance with our values.
“What I found most valuable was working on what’s important to me in life, and what I want to move away from. This ended up directly influencing a couple of huge career decisions I had to make a short time later. Ordinarily I can be very indecisive, but armed with the knowledge that our sessions had given me, I was able to make empowered decisions. When I made these decisions it was with confidence and conviction and I felt really proud of myself because I knew I was putting what mattered to me – my family and my health – first instead of just chasing more money.
The biggest benefit working through the sessions is that it has given me is a much firmer grasp of who I am, what I want, and how to go about achieving it. I just feel more grounded, like I have my s**t together and I’m ready to move forward with my life.”
K. Murphy, Quarter Lifer
Is it time you asked yourself the question
What’s most important to me in life?
Ask it over and over again until you get a list of at least 10 values! Then you will have a starting point! I bet you will be surprised about what comes up for you!